We share five actions that will help you address controversial issues.
In our commitment to offering alternative interpretations of the different expressions of spirituality that are in line with human rights, we face the challenge of listening to perspectives from perspectives other than those that motivate us.
In this sense, mitigating polarization will help prevent the breakdown of the bonds we have built with others, as this distances us and makes it difficult for us to overcome the stereotypes and prejudices we have regarding other groups. In this way, "we will then be building a spiral of distance, violence, and lack of communication that will be increasingly difficult to overcome," as stated in the document (Deconstructing the Image of the Enemy) by the School for a Culture of Peace (ECP) of the Autonomous University of Barcelona.
Therefore, it is important to create spaces for dialogue that recognize and legitimize the opinions of others through listening, empathy, and respect . In this way, addressing and discussing controversial issues will become an opportunity, rather than a difficulty. This is completely in line with our mission: "to help bring together different people who want to achieve not-so-different things."
If you're wondering how to get started , here are five recommendations for addressing the issues that divide us. These were developed based on proposals from various organizations and institutions, such as Diálogos Improbables, Resuena, Mutante, and the Barcelona School for a Culture of Peace.
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Work in knowledge and inform yourself
Getting to know others, but above all, getting to know myself, are the two fundamental characteristics of this first recommendation. This will undoubtedly allow us to identify people's affinities, differences, and feelings regarding the topic being discussed. Ultimately, this exercise fosters a space for recognition with others and opens a path toward esteem and trust, essential elements for addressing the issues that divide us.
Spending time on self-knowledge is essential because it will allow you to understand your needs and emotions, as well as how they affect your behaviors and attitudes during the conversation.On the other hand, it's essential to understand the topic at hand, so research its different dimensions and perspectives. This will help you take clearer and more informed positions.
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Build from trust
Ensuring trustworthy conditions for dialogue is key, as this way, both parties will feel that their expectations and established agreements are being met. To achieve this, you must set aside labels and predispositions toward others. This will help you recognize the other person as a human being with opinions based on their emotions, fears, and experiences.
When we trust others and ourselves, it's easier to expose our vulnerability and explore the fears, anxieties, and other feelings that are part of these discussions.-
Speak from the I-message
This form of communication allows us to approach others assertively because we express our own opinion with the full awareness that it is just as valuable as anyone else's. One of the fundamental elements of communicating from the I-message is that it avoids judging others and prevents them from feeling attacked when you are defending your interests.
The ECP recommends a structure for this type of message that includes observing the facts , expressing emotions , identifying needs , and finally, stating a request for what I would like to happen. Below, we share an example of how to apply this structure:
| Passed | Way of expressing it |
| Observation of the fact | When I hear what you have to say about… |
| Emotion | I feel uncomfortable… |
| Need | Because, to me, you're missing the point in this debate. |
| Request | In that sense, I would like you to expand on your point… |
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Respect what other people have to say
However, the ECP makes one caveat : “All people deserve respect, but not all opinions. Some opinions must be strongly opposed because of their violent implications. We cannot accept racism, sexism, or discriminatory treatment of a minority simply because they are a minority, legitimizing the opinions that defend them.”
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Channel emotions
Anger, rejection, anxiety, astonishment, and fear are some of the emotions experienced when discussing controversial topics. Therefore, managing them constructively is vital to maintaining dialogue. To do so, it's key to recognize what emotions I'm experiencing and how I'm going to communicate them. On the other hand, I must also learn to recognize and respect the emotions of others.
In this sense, active listening plays a prominent role, as it places me in the role of paying attention to understand what other people want to express.
Talking about controversial topics means taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zone . With these recommendations, you can get a little closer to what divides us. Remember, we're talking about a dialogue, not a debate we must win by imposing our views or being right. Dialogue isn't a battlefield, so welcome disagreement!